Thursday, August 12, 2010

Hi Quark. BTW, you SUCK.

This is an actual chat conversation that took place a few minutes ago between myself and a Quark customer service representative. According to Quark's website they have headquarters in Denver, CO and India. My understanding is that this rep was located in India:

Quark Customer Support...You have been connected to Nimisha.

Nimisha: Welcome to our live chat service.

Leslie: Hi. Did you see my question?  I am wondering how to go about legally transferring the registration on my Quark Xpress software.

Nimisha: Yes, Leslie, as per company policy you can not save your license.

Nimisha: *Leslie, as per company policy you can not sell your license.

Leslie: What does that mean,"I cannot SAVE my license?"

Leslie: Oh you meant SELL not SAVE

Nimisha: I am sorry that was a typing error.  As per company policy you can not sell your license.

Leslie: Yes, I understand that. I'm curious as to why. I recently sold my adobe InDesign CS2 and adobe was great about helping me transfer the license, etc. They made it very simple. Why doesn't Quark have this type of customer support option?

Nimisha: Leslie. it is a company policy that you ca not sell your license.

Leslie: Okay. You keep repeating the SAME information. Can you please explain to me why this is the policy?  Clearly it's not illegal activity because other software companies allow registration to be transferred on their products from one customer to another. It would seem to me that the more people that use your product, the more exposure you get and marketshare you gain in the long run.

Nimisha: Leslie, every company has its own policy and this is mentioned in the license agreement that swelling the license is illegal.

Leslie: Swelling? I assume you meant SELLING. 

<  Connection closed due to network issues >

And that, my friends, is how the chat ended. For real.


  1. wowzers! quirk is bazerk! yes, you can assume i meant quark.

  2. Doesn't she know that you're a "swell" gal?

  3. I recently had a live chat that was similar and it turned out to be with some computer program and not a real person. After I got the same answer several times I typed in "are you a real person" to which the reply was " I'm sorry I did not understand, could you simplify your answer?"

    Thanks for your recent for your recent comments on my blog. It's always so nice the hear from you! :)

  4. Thank you so much for your comments ladies.

    • Heather, you made me LOL!

    • Bridgette, apparently they didn't get that memo ;-)

    • Elisa, that's crazy. I've been on live chats with automated responses before too, but the company disclosed that it was not a live person. I'm wondering why the company you were dealing with didn't qualify that upfront? It's very misleading. Hoping all is well with you, looking fwd to catching up with you soon!

    It's been a while since I posted and I just wanted you all to know how much I appreciate your loyalty!

  5. Hahahahahaha..... Oh oh sorry.... The saddest part is BOY have I been there done that. I don't generally yell,,,, I'm not a yeller, however if you get me REALLY mad because I know you're shafting me and you know you're shafting me, yet you choose not to make things right..... I yell. And then I did something I have NEVER done.... I HUNG UP on them!!! Then I had to go Christmas shopping at my even less favorite place the MALL. Just let me say when I had to park near an entrance I've never parked near then entered by a BRAND new AT&T store which ODDLY enough could replace the service (or there lack of, which is why I was yelling) faster and cheaper.... Comcast and I ceased to have a relationship. The End...


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